Ah, Homestuck, what would we do without you.
Last year, 3 years after the infamous webcomic Homestuck finished publishing, The Homestuck Epilogues were relased. Breaking away from the usual visual storytelling that Homestuck was known for, The Homestuck Epilogues were released entirely as a pair of novels, detailing the morose lives of the characters we'd grown to know and love. Whilst extremely divisive, The Homestuck Epilogues served as a continuation of one of the greatest works of internet-era fiction, and paved the way for more content still to come.
And since they were written as a combination of both a novel and a play, I figured "hey, why not make a full radio play/audio drama out of this?".
The structure of these 2 light novels lends itself perfectly to an audio drama complete with a fully voice acted cast, sound effects and original music, and whilst we have quite a few people on board already we still have a lot of roles left to fill for those who are interested in joining the crew.
We're looking to publish around 2 youtube videos per week after building up a backlog of videos (1 for each novel), at the end of each week (although this schedule may change) as the content will be 100% audio based. Along with voice acting we're looking to incorporate ambient sound effects and some original music into the production too in order to give it an authentic feel. Each novel is around 30-40 chapters long, with some chapters being extremely short and some being on the longer side, so it's a long-ish form project. The audition deadline is just a placeholder for now, it’s subject to change!
Below are a few guidelines for the project and auditions, be sure to give them a read before auditioning!:
Good luck to everyone auditioning, please drop me a message if you have any questions!
John is the main character of Homestuck, and appears heavily in both epilogues. Just like the rest of the cast, he starts as a young adult in his mid-early 20's and by the end of the Candy epilogue he's middle aged, rather than the young child we've come to know over the course of Homestuck.
JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it.
JOHN: i completely fucked up your entire life.
JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally.
JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault.
JOHN: but even before that...
JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level
JOHN: my wedding? um...
JOHN: good i guess?
JOHN: really good actually.
JOHN: you should have seen roxy. she was so beautiful in her dress!
JOHN: i mean, there were some awkward patches, but it was mostly ok.
(This scene is John meeting his son for the first time in a long time, so direction would be awkward and a bit tense)
JOHN: hey harry anderson.
JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you.
JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?
Rose is another main character. She's wise beyond her years and whilst she lives happily and prosperously in one epilogue, she is plagued by illness and lethargy in another, eventually succumbing to her demons.
ROSE: Don’t be ridiculous, Kanaya.
ROSE: What I would prefer...
ROSE: ...is to be here, with you.
ROSE: Really here with you.
ROSE: For the first time in a long time.
ROSE: It was hard on you, wasn’t it?
ROSE: My illness? Combined with all your duties to the Mother Grub, the pressures of the changing political situation...
ROSE: With all that on your mind, it can’t have been pleasant to have to come home and take care of me as well.
ROSE: I can see now that it was all terribly unfair to you.
ROSE: The war is just as irrelevant as everything else that’s happened here in the last decade and a half.
ROSE: At least with a conflict, we have something to DO.
ROSE: Something to strive for and against. Something to believe in.
ROSE: I’m thankful for that. But more than anything, John, I’m thankful that I got a chance to be happy.
One of the most infamous Homestuck characters, Dave now spends his days hidden away as a hermit with his definitely-not-boyfriend, Karkat. That is, until they decide to run for President of Earth-C in order to combat a tyrannical dictator that used to be their friend.
DAVE: its never too late to develop a substance abuse problem
DAVE: ive been thinking about it for a while and it seems like its time for me to finally get on the wagon of not being on the wagon
DAVE: im kind of getting the feeling that... maybe...
DAVE: theres a level to what were thinking that isnt entirely coming across in words
DAVE: and since we dont have the right words we arent getting to the right actions either
DAVE: dude ok dont pretend you dont spend at least 15% of your day ogling jakes ass on television anyway
DAVE: in fact youre doing it right now
For most of the epilogues Jade is her usual bubbly self, only a bit more mature than when we last saw her in Homestuck. Eventually she is possessed by Calliope's spirit from another reality, and most of her lines will be voiced by our Calliope VA, but Jade still plays a prominent role.
JADE: hey can we focus here?
JADE: jakes ass isnt the one you two should be talking about right now
JADE: see i dont mind at all!
JADE: i would never try to break up what you two have.... im just trying to make it BETTER!
JADE: karkat youre absolutely right
JADE: and i couldnt agree more with you on issues of consent as everyone whos gotten to know me well enough is perfectly aware
JADE: BUT
JADE: im not the one who kissed you silly.....
No longer the sweet girl from Homestuck, Jane very quickly takes a sinister turn as she ruthlessly pursues profit and war over her family and friends as she once did.
JANE: Well, Jake, it doesn’t always have to be that way.
JANE: Putting business first? Ignoring the good things in my life chasing profit? I’m sick of it.
JANE: I think that I could be... loving. I could be a good wife.
JANE: Oh, this is mortifying to admit, but I’ve been thinking that perhaps I’ve been doing the wrong thing with my life.
JANE: Instead of all this business politicking I’ve been doing, what I’d really like...
JANE: Is to settle down and raise a family.
JANE: Does that sound ridiculous?
JANE: All right.
JANE: Jake! Get the president on the phone.
JANE: It’s clear to me now that it’s past time for the military to strike, and I’ll be giving that man a real piece of my mind until an appropriate counterattack is in motion.
The standout character of the epilogues, Roxy plays a big part in both the Meat and Candy epilogues. Estranged from their husband in one, and coming to terms with their gender identity in the other, Roxy is a complex character in the epilogues, and may be the key to the story that comes after.
Roxy speaks in "text speak" a lot, saying things like bff and lmao through the epilogues. Feel free to make use of these any way you want in your audition, whether you want to say the full term or just the abbreviation.
I'd prefer to cast a nonbinary VA as Roxy given the content of the meat epilogue (and how much their arcs means to me personally), but feel free to audition regardless of your gender identity, just as long as you're comfortable voicing some pretty deep lines when it comes to gender and sexuality.
ROXY: it means that everyones rly good friends harry anderson
ROXY: just a dumb fancy word for bffs
ROXY: its a big hard word for grownups tho so feel free to un-know it now sweetie
(This is Roxy giving a speech at one of their best friend's funerals, the tone is extremely sombre/upsetting)
ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider
ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it
ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing
ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess
ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did
(This scene has Roxy meeting their estranged husband for the first time in years, it's extremely tense as both characters are very on edge, but still clearly have feelings for each other)
ROXY: i like my life!!!
ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up
ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin
ROXY: its mine!
The queen of discourse herself, Vriska (now going by (Vriska) to avoid confusion with the OTHER Vriska) plays something of a minor role in the epilogues, only appearing near the end of the Candy route as she finds her way into this timeline. Nonetheless she's her usual, brash, self, and is ready to fuck shit up to get her way.
(VRISKA): You 8etter fucking listen up, Makara.
(VRISKA): I don’t know what you may have thought... THIS was. Whatever the fuck it was that just happened here.
(VRISKA): 8ut let me clue you in.
(VRISKA): It was NOTHING.
(VRISKA): Wow. You know what?
(VRISKA): You’re RIGHT.
(VRISKA): Man, that is SUCH a good attitude?
(VRISKA): Why didn’t I say that??
(VRISKA): I used to say shit like that.
VRISKA: What the F8CK are you t8lking a8out?
VRISKA: Where am I????????
VRISKA: I c8n’t 8e here! I h8ve to go 8ACK!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: I need to see what happened!
VRISKA: I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT TURNED OUT!
99% of Terezi's scenes in both epilogues are with John, as she remains his anchor to canon and reality, eventually resulting in their hookup during Meat. She's wandering the vast emptiness of space all alone in an attempt to find both her best friend, and herself. Her dialogue is a pain to read if you're not used to it, but that's Terezi for you.
TEREZI: JOHN DO NOT T4K3 TH1S P3RSON4LLY
TEREZI: 4LTHOUGH 1 DO 4BSOLUT3LY M34N 1T P3RSON4LLY
TEREZI: BUT YOU SM3LL L1K3 SH1T
TEREZI: JOHN
TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TH3R3
TEREZI: 1 R34LLY N33D TO T4LK TO SOM3ON3 R1GHT NOW
(This is probably the most emotionally charged scene in the entire epilogues, as Terezi's love interest dies in her arms just after they think they've both made it to safety, she's in tears throughout this scene, but mainly angry at him for daring to die without confessing his love to her)
TEREZI: TH3YLL B3L13V3 1T, TRUST M3
TEREZI: 1LL *M4K3* TH3M B3L13V3 1T
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!
TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!
Probably the only character who hasn't significantly changed since the epilogues, Meenah's ready to join Karkat's revolution against Jane. She doesn't care what it's for actually, just as long as she gets to be on the front line messing shit up.
MEENAH: now thats what im TALKIN about
MEENAH: yeah i could use a new seacond in command
MEENAH: yeah dude just point me at where the actions at i dont even give a fuck
MEENAH: water the orders boss
MEENAH: ok for one thing genius
MEENAH: im dead
MEENAH: i wont even last on your planet ill just like
MEENAH: fade away or some shit
MEENAH: i dont know what happens to ghosts in real places actually but ima guess it goes somefin like that
Oh god. Unfortunately Gamzee's in this so we have to cast him, as much as I wish I didn't. He's been "redeemed" but is still the same old juggalo he always was. Enjoy.
GAMZEE: ShUt tHe fUcK Up.
GAMZEE: I’M GeTtInG ReAl aT A MoThErFuCkEr rIgHt nOw.
GAMZEE: I BeEn rEdEeMeD Yo. I SaId mY SoRrIeS AnD ReDeEmEd tHe sHiT OuT Of mYsElF, dIdN’T YoU SeE?
GAMZEE: i dOn’t kNoW, bAbE.
GAMZEE: ThIs iS AlL StArTiNg tO SoUnD A LiTtLe...
GAMZEE: xEnOpHoBiC? :o(
GAMZEE: AnD yOu’Ve BeEn MoRe Of A hElP tO mE tHaN aNyBoDy. MoRe ThAn AnYtHiNg.
GAMZEE: yOu KnOw WiTh ThE NiGhTmArEs I cAn’T sLeEp WiThOuT hOlDiNg On To A mOtHeRfUcKeR!
As inscrutable as ever, Aradia finds her way into the Candy timeline along with Sollux. She has little to no interest in choosing sides, as she mainly just wants to see what's happening as reality and canon crumble around her. She's her usual creepily friendly self, other than that!
ARADIA: what makes him so dangerous
ARADIA: i mean
ARADIA: what exactly is it he can do which is more destructive than what i was seeing just before i came here?
ARADIA: ah yes the prince
ARADIA: i still have no idea who he is
ARADIA: not that i doubt you really
ARADIA: we had a prince who was a huge jerk who destroyed everything he touched
ARADIA: i mean i think i understand what i was seeing
ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart
ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole
ARADIA: which is where i ended up too
ARADIA: that black hole...
ARADIA: thats basically you, right?
Sollux's appearance is little more than a cameo in the homestuck epilogues. He's tagging along with Aradia but doesn't have much to say, same as always.
SOLLUX: well yeah
SOLLUX: that’s what happens when s0me0ne 0pens a d00r t0 a t0tally dark encl0sure.
SOLLUX: fuck, i can’t believe y0u’re still this stupid.
SOLLUX: 0h wait i can.
Another character who appears mainly just as a cameo (in just one chapter, I believe), Davepetasprite is their usual bizarre self, and actually ends up dealing the killing blow to Lord English, dragging him into the Candy Black Hole. They're a bit creepy and sarcastic, but very friendly and an excellent fighter.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < dude i cant believe you dont recognize me
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its me davesprite
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and also nepeta?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i know it looks pawful right now but we can do it
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in fact were literally the only ones who can do it
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < after all
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it is our destiny
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im afuraid to say that you look like total shit my dude
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you should stay here while we wind this bitch down
