A PARSNIPIAN DILEMMA

A PARSNIPIAN DILEMMA

Project Overview

SPIKED EGGS : Deliciously twisted, darkly comic tales with a foot in both the present and the reimagined past

This is audio theater. Season one will consist of 10 stand-alone episodes. We celebrate richly-layered sound design. We celebrate quirky characters, and the situations they get themselves into. We celebrate the work of the actors who join us to create these characters and their worlds. 

 EPISODE 4  "A Parsnipian Dilemma" (A modern twist on an old fable)

WHO WE ARE LOOKING FOR:  In addition to this audition, we will be reaching out directly to actors on the CCC site who flourish in character work. You are a special group and we're interested in you. We've scouted you out. We've listened to your submissions to other projects. You will eventually hear from us. If it doesn't work out for this season, we will keep a roster of potential actors for Season 2. If character work is your love, if you feel comfortable occasionally working in improv, please, please reach out to us.

Part of our decision making in casting an actor is whether the actor would be a good choice for another character in a following episode. For instance, we are hoping that the actor cast as Santa Nicola (bad ass gang boss of the elves)  would be a good candidate for, say, the role of a rural midwestern farmer in Episode 2. The idea is to pair episodes in a way which really highlight the range and talent of our VAs. As such, we are looking for serious VAs who are interested in working with us on multiple episodes. We are invested in creating an acting troupe for the project.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Disclaimer/Content Warning: This project contains the occasional mild profanity and some amount of violence now and then. Episode 4 " A Parsnipian Dilemma" is a twist on the Princess and the Pea fable. There's no violence or profanity. The podcast as a whole could not be considered suitable for family listening, but there is no gore or excessive bad language.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

OUR SCHEDULE:  OUR PRODUCTION SCHEDULE IS TIGHT.  The audition period will take place from the morning of January 8, 2024 through to the morning of January 15, 2024. We will strive to keep up with reviewing submissions each day, so that we will reach a firm decision on each role by January 16, 2024. All actors who are cast in roles will be contacted via the CCC messaging system and Discord by January 16, 2024 and will be given a script at that time. We must receive back your final recordings by the morning of January 22, 2024.  If you cannot meet this schedule, please do not audition for this episode. We'll be glad for you to join us at another audition later in the season.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

OUR REQUIREMENTS: 

1) Strict adherence to the deadline. Please take this seriously. If you do not respect our deadlines, you will not be cast again.

2) The audition submission: can be an MP3 or a WAV, but it must be clean. Any background sounds, echoes etc will automatically disqualify you. We're also making casting decisions based on the sound quality of your audition submission. The quality of your mic makes a difference to us. Please advise us of your equipment setup and DAW system you will be using when you audition. 

3) Final recordings:  Must be submitted as one WAV file.  Please don't add any special effects to your lines.  Please don't submit your recording as multiple files. One WAV file, recorded as AB or ABC.

4) Please be available to provide re-dos/pickups: We will do everything we can to work around any issues. If we simply can't make something work, we will need your help in providing a pickup.

5) We communicate through:  Discord and email are our preference.  Discord will be important for you to collaborate with the other cast members. 

5) You must be 18 years or older to audition

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A COUPLE OF EXTRA NOTES:  

Performance clips : After Episode 4 is launched, each cast member will receive a clip of their performance for their portfolio. As we mentioned above, sound design is of primo importance to us. The clip we give you will most definitely stand out on your sample reel. 

Go For It !    Really ... When performing your audition takes, have fun ! Use your skill and imagination. We've indicated in the roles where there is room to play. We're giving you permission to come up with something.. a stutter, a lisp. If it makes sense to you, given the description of the characters we're casting, give it a shot. We want to get a sense of your creativity. Just make sure that it makes sense for the character. Make sure to edit out those takes you don't want us to hear. Give us your three best takes if you want.. or do it in one take. It's up to you.

SPIKED EGGS WEBSITE:  Once finished, all of our cast will receive credits on the episode's webpage in the show notes.

You are viewing the logged out version of this page.

When you are logged in, you can comment, add submissions, create projects, upvote, search open roles, and way more. Login here.

Latest Updates

  • A PARSNIPIAN DILEMMA IS OUT TODAY !

    Episode Four of Spiked Eggs has been released this morning..

    This one's a real fun twist up on the old fable. Go Girl Power !

    THE CCC COMMUNITY VERY FUNNY CAST MEMBERS ARE:

    The Queen : Monique Tanguay

    Alma: Candace McAfee

    The Prince: Sam Shown

    The Princess: Maia Harlap

    Toolson: Joe DuVall

    Game Warden: Steve Jones

    Attendant: Jesse Forrest

    Additional Background : Salathiel Reagan

    Please support us and your fellow actors. They worked so hard on this ! You can find us on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Audible, YouTube and most other podcast platforms

  • PARSNIPIAN AUDITIONS ARE NOW CLOSED

    Hi Everyone !

    This was meant to be an unlisted audition for a number of candidates who we invited, but we're glad that we were introduced to a number of new actors here ! Bravo everyone ! We've made our decisions and Frank and I will be sending out messages to all of you today. A number of you introduced yourself to us at just the right time. We'll be reaching out to you with information on upcoming episodes. We'd like to thank the VA community here who continue to bring their heart and humor into these auditions. You're helping Spiked Eggs to grow. Have a great weekend everyone ! Jane

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Queen Elspeth - Lead role
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 50 USD
Role assigned to: MsMoknowsVO

Queen of the Kingdom of Parsnipia. Middle-aged. The unquestioned ruler. Imperious, shrewd, demanding. She does not suffer fools lightly. She accepts no challenges to, or questions about, her authority. When distressed, she suffers from indigestion/heartburn/light burping, which grows to acute stomach pain by the end of the episode.

 WORD COUNT = 538   Pay rate = $50 USD flat fee


Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • female adult
  • As the scene starts, the overdramatic Prince cries out that his heart is about to burst. Queen: Nonsense! What from? Your hands are uncalloused. Your back is straight. The spoon in your mouth is silver. And the hand that wipes your backside is not your own.

  • Later, the Queen scoffs and scolds when the Milkmaid, a strong farm girl, says she’s delicate. Queens: Don’t blaspheme, [blass-feem], child. I could bind you in chains for your fabrications. But I shan’t spoil my son’s nuptials. No. (Beat) So, I propose a test to glean your truthfulness. A wager if you will…. If you fail, you shall be branded a liar and banished from the kingdom. Immediately.

  • The Queen is outraged when the Milkmaid shows she’s been bruised by a pea in a palace bed. (Her digestion issues worsen, increasing from a 7 to an 8 on a scale of 10.) Queen: Liar! She arrived blemished, I say. Mendacious trollop! Lashed by her employer, no doubt. (then commands) Show me exactly where the pea is located.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Alma the milkmaid - Lead role
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 50 USD
Role assigned to: Candace Marie

 Probably in her 20s. A hard worker, she knows her way around a farm and animals. Loves her job. She’s down-to-earth, folksy and always herself. Not intimidated by the presence of royalty. She can be cheeky and flip when the royals act high-and-mighty. But she does mash up high-faluting honorific titles (unintentionally).

WORD COUNT = 510. Pay rate = $50 USD flat fee

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • female adult
  • After entering the castle, the Milkmaid explains to the royals why she’s delivering the milk instead of the regular guy. Milkmaid: Sorry, Your Lady. Old Bart’s laid up a while. Took a kick in the leg from a cow. … Looks like you’re stuck with me. Prince: The farmer employs you? Milkmaid: He does. I do most of the milking. Bart does the delivering …. But it’s double-duty now with him on the shelf.

  • The Prince advises the Milkmaid that he is to be married to the Princess. Milkmaid: Well, congratulations, Your Omnipotence. Who’s the lucky lady? … It is a lady, I assume.

  • The Milkmaid responds when the Queen accuses her of trickery for doing something the Queen didn’t think possible. Milkmaid: No trick. It’s a … gift. (reflective) … Yeah … a gift … (suddenly remembers) Oh, that reminds me. Someone was eating in bed. …. Yeah. Look. Near the headboard … Almost forgot that.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Roger Toolson (Head servant) - Supporting Role
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 25 USD
Role assigned to: Joseph DuVall

The head servant. The go-to guy for all problems in the castle. Intelligent, sometimes sarcastic and deadpan. Doesn't have a British accent but speaks very proper English. He takes the royals’ condescension in stride, although deep down it irks him, because he knows they are not better than he is, and probably are worse.  But that’s the job, and he does as commanded.

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male adult
  • As the scene opens, Toolson is dealing with one of the staff, trying to avert a potential problem with the royals: Toolson (gently scolding): No. No. No. Riding clothes. I said the Prince wants his riding clothes laid out, not his writing clothes. Riding. Understand? On a saddle, atop a horse ... Different activities. Completely different sets of clothing. … No. No. Don’t apologize. Just fix it. Please …. Yes. Of course, right now. Before the Queen hears and has both our heads. … Go on, off with you.

  • A bit later in the monologue, he relates (to the audience) what he thinks about the royals’ condescension: Toolson: Granted, I’m a servant. But I’m no bumpkin. Not at all. I can read, write. Yes, I can even think. … Not that this smug lot would notice. Or care. (sighs) But enough of my sad tale. I’ve recited it so often I’m beginning to bore myself.…

  • As wedding preparations move forward, the Queen asks if a table has been made to her specifications: Toolson: Ten mahogany trees have never forfeited their lives for a nobler cause.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
The Prince - Supporting role
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 40 USD
Role assigned to: Sam Shown

Mid 20s to early 30s. A romantic man-child inclined toward being overly dramatic. Everything’s been handed to him in his life, although he’s not completely clueless. Finding and marrying a suitable princess has been his top priority for years.

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male adult
  • At the beginning of the scene, the Prince gushes over his good fortune of unexpectedly meeting the Princess, who he will soon wed. Prince: ‘Tis so. For I have traveled the world, searched near and far, high and low, and every point in-between to find my princess. Painfully without success. Until yesterday evening. When fate brought my beloved here to the Kingdom of Parsnipia.

  • At a later point, the Queen, his mother, does something to upset the Princess. Prince: Mother! See what you have done! You dismay the Princess! (To Princess) Courage, my love. I beseech you!

  • Later, he’s shocked and in disbelief when the Milkmaid makes a startling discovery in a palace bed. Prince: Good Lord! A cracker crumb! … Precisely where she said.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
The Princess - Minor role
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 20 USD
Role assigned to: Maia Harlap

Probably in her 20sProvincial, somewhat naive, yet extremely demanding. A bit lazy and whiny. Her voice is a bit high-pitched and becomes shrill when she’s excited. Considers herself entitled to the respect and trappings she believes are due a future queen.  This is a small part, but highly visible/comic.

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • female adult
  • When we first meet her, she has given an order to the palace staff and does not want to be questioned. Princess: Because I am the Princess … That is why.

  • A bit later, she’s panicked when there’s an issue over the pending wedding: Princess: Alas, my heart! My poor heart! Is it to be rended? My gown! My beautiful wedding gown! Am I not to wear it?

  • The Princess is shaken over the prospect of the Milkmaid possibly passing the Queen’s test and being given the Prince’s hand in marriage instead of her: Princess (shakily to Prince in hushed tone): Oh, darling … Surely this peasant, this thick-hipped yokel cannot be … Dear God! Does she not wade in manure …?

Comments

Public Submissions

You are viewing the logged out version of this page.

When you are logged in, you can comment, add submissions, create projects, upvote, search open roles, and way more. Login here.