A PARSNIPIAN DILEMMA
Guardbro for Roger Toolson (Head servant) - Supporting Role
The head servant. The go-to guy for all problems in the castle. Intelligent, sometimes sarcastic and deadpan. Doesn't have a British accent but speaks very proper English. He takes the royals’ condescension in stride, although deep down it irks him, because he knows they are not better than he is, and probably are worse. But that’s the job, and he does as commanded.
- english
- male adult
As the scene opens, Toolson is dealing with one of the staff, trying to avert a potential problem with the royals: Toolson (gently scolding): No. No. No. Riding clothes. I said the Prince wants his riding clothes laid out, not his writing clothes. Riding. Understand? On a saddle, atop a horse ... Different activities. Completely different sets of clothing. … No. No. Don’t apologize. Just fix it. Please …. Yes. Of course, right now. Before the Queen hears and has both our heads. … Go on, off with you.
A bit later in the monologue, he relates (to the audience) what he thinks about the royals’ condescension: Toolson: Granted, I’m a servant. But I’m no bumpkin. Not at all. I can read, write. Yes, I can even think. … Not that this smug lot would notice. Or care. (sighs) But enough of my sad tale. I’ve recited it so often I’m beginning to bore myself.…
As wedding preparations move forward, the Queen asks if a table has been made to her specifications: Toolson: Ten mahogany trees have never forfeited their lives for a nobler cause.
