Fallout Radio Mod 2
Project Overview
More roles for a radio mod, for Fallout 3 and probably 4.
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Man goes on a killing spree to collect insurance money
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Agent: Well Mr. Trent, as your insurance auditor, I have to be honest, this whole affair is mighty suspicious. You lose your job, your bills are piling up, and the very next day your wife disappears.
Trent: I don't like where you're going with this. Are you saying I killed her?
Agent: Maybe. Or she could've left. Maybe the two of you are in on it together. Either way, I have seven years to find out.
Man goes on a killing spree to collect insurance money
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Trent: I've been fired from three straight jobs Daphne! The word's gotten around town. No one's gonna hire me now.
Daphne: We have our life insurance policies. It's not an endowment, but it's something.
Trent: A few hundred dollars isn't gonna be enough. One of us has to die. And lately, I've been thinking it wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Daphne: Don't talk like that. I'd be lost without you.
Trent: I wasn't talking about me.
Guest at a strange hotel, walks up to Concierge and is confused as to where he is
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Guest: Well, this is going to sound a bit strange, but I was wondering if you could tell me where I am.
Concierge: Why, you’re in a hotel.
Guest: Right, but where? What city?
Concierge: City? I’m afraid you’re confused. There are no cities here.
Guest: What do you mean?
Concierge: Ah, we get your type all the time. You must’ve been in an accident. That’s why you don’t remember how you got here.
Guest: How did I get here?
Concierge: I’m afraid there’s no way of putting this gently, so I’ll just come out and say it. You’re dead.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Attention everyone. For a limited time only, in every box of Spring Valley Potato Crisps is an offer for a free Moon Map! That's right, with Spring Valley Crisps, you or your child can be the envy of aspiring astronauts everywhere!
Remember, the free moon map offer is found only in specially marked boxes of Spring Valley Potato Crisps.
Spring Valley Potato Crisps, the snack so light and fresh they're out of this world!
Witness on trial
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Folsom: And you were there the night Mr. Watkins was murdered.
Adams: Yes. I saw Ms. Watkins do it with my own eyes.
Folsom: I see. Ms. Adams, can you do me a favor and tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?
(Folsom holds up both middle fingers)
Adams: Mr.Prosecutor, how dare you insult me with such an obscene gesture!
Folsom: No Ms. Adams, the correct answer is two! Two fingers!
Adams: That is not the point!
Country lawyer who takes on a murder case. Jimmy Stewart accent not necessary but plus if you can pull it off.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Folsom: So Ms. Adams, if you might state your occupation?
Adams: I’m a maid for Mr. and Ms. Watkins.
Folsom:And you were there the night Mr. Watkins was murdered.
Adams: Yes. I saw Ms. Watkins do it with my own eyes.
Folsom:I see. Ms. Adams, can you do me a favor and tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?
(Folsom holds up both middle fingers)
Adams: Mr.Prosecutor, how dare you insult me with such an obscene gesture!
Folsom:No Ms. Adams, the correct answer is two! Two fingers!
Adams: That is not the point!
Folsom:Oh it’s exactly the point! Now I may be a simple country boy from a backwoods dumpster, but I know my ABCs, and 123s. And if Ms. Adams can’t even even see how many fingers I held up, how can she be sure it was my client who committed the murder?
Woman accused of murder, goes to public defender for help.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Watkins: Are you Mr. Folsom?
Folsom: Something I can help you with ma’am?
Watkins:You haven’t heard? It’s in all the papers. They say I murdered someone.
Folsom: I see. And you need a lawyer to defend you?
Watkins:Why yes. But no one will take my case.
Folsom: So that’s why you came to me.
Watkins:Well, not really. The court appointed you. I was told you’re my public defender.
Sherrif Deputy, investigating UFO
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Sheriff: Did you put the body in the truck? The boys in D.C. are gonna wanna dissect that thing.
Deputy: I did, but something’s been bugging me about the way this went down.
Sheriff: Speak your mind Deputy.
Deputy:Well, I was thinking, when you counted seven people in the diner, did you count the bus driver among those seven?
Sheriff: Of course.
Deputy:Well then, if he had six passengers, and one bus driver, doesn’t that add up to seven? Maybe there wasn’t a Martian in there after all.
Two cowboys in a duel. Velma runs a diner and tries to talk them down. Set in the 1850s.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Red: Not everyone can be as fast as your mother Corbin, but that’s got nothing to do with gunplay.
Corbin: You no good son of a bitch!
Velma: That’s enough! Corbin, I know your mother, and I’ll tell you right now she’s no saint. And Red, the doctor’s been out of town for about a week now! No one believes you made an appointment!
Red:It doesn’t matter. He knows my secret. I’m a coward. And since he’s the only one who knows, he has to die.
Velma: But don’t you see? You’re both cowards! Corbin ain’t gonna tell a soul so long as you don’t. It’s what they call mutually assured destruction.
Corbin: She’s right. I can’t tell people you’re a yellow-bellied lily-liver without you saying the same about me.
Red:And I can’t tell people you’re a thumbsucking bushwacker without you spilling the beans either.
Velma: See? Ain't not reason to fight. Now let’s see about fixing you two some breakfast.
Man goes on a killing spree to collect insurance money
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Daphne: Honey, do you mind setting the table?
Trent: Sure. But we need to talk first. I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
Daphne: Oh dear. What's wrong?
Trent: I got laid off today.
Daphne: Oh no, that's terrible! Did you at least get a severance?
Trent: Not a dime.
Daphne: Well, chin up, it's not the end of the world. I'm sure you'll be back on your feet in no time.
Player thinks he's getting called up to the Major Leagues, but instead is called up for a literal cup of coffee
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Roastmaster: Coffee is very complex Connor. There are about 1000 aroma and flavor compounds all told. Of course, you can't taste all of them, but you can taste a lot of them.
Connor: Yeah, and how many can you taste?
Roastmaster: Right now? Just one. Coffee. But I'm working on the others.
Middle aged movie star too old lamenting change argues with maid/butler/servant.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Candace: Tell me Ms. Perkins, when you look at this picture, what do you see?
Perkins: I don't know Ms. Booker. I just walked in.
Candace:You see nothing, because it's empty. Films today are artless drivel designed for simpletons. Perfect for today's youth, what with their jukeboxes and fast cars and rock 'n roll! Whatever happened to charm and romance? Whatever happened to the 1930s?
Candace:Christ, that's another thing that's wrong with today's youth, always speaking in jive. They don't have the class of a Marcus Grant or Arthur Stewart! Why isn't he in this picture?
Perkins: Isn't Mr. Stewart dead?
Candace:He is, and his rotting corpse is twice the man these greasers will ever be! In fact, we should dig him up! Then they'll see! They'll all see!
Husband, wife, and sister-in-law sitcom
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Margaret: Sonny, remember to be home by six today.
Sonny: Six? But I thought me and the fellas could go to bar to watch the game.
Margaret:There'll be other games.
Sonny: You don't understand honey. It's not just any game. It's Yanks-Sox, and the winner goes on to the World Series!
Margaret:Not tonight, you know damn well my sister's coming over.
Sonny: Well why does she have to stay here? There's a perfectly good zoo down the street.
Margaret:That's enough, Sonny.
Vault Couple Sitcom
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Mother: There you are. What are you doing in this horrible place?
Wife: It's my home, mother.
Mother:This is where you live? But there's so much...sun.
Wife: We're vault dwellers not vampires. Harold and I are very happy here.
Mother:Harold? Is that a surface boy's name?
Wife: It is. And the two of us are very much in love.
Mother:Oh dear, you know it won't last.
Wife: That's not true. The two of us are perfectly compatible. We both like hot dogs, walks on the beach, and our favorite movie is "Love Sets Sail."
Mother:You may be compatible with him, but is America compatible with the Chinese? Because that's what'll end your relationship, not some adolescent fight over what movie you want to see.
Vault Couple Sitcom
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Mother: There you are. What are you doing in this horrible place?
Wife: It's my home, mother.
Mother: This is where you live? But there's so much...sun.
Wife: We're vault dwellers not vampires. Harold and I are very happy here.
Mother: Harold? Is that a surface boy's name?
Wife: It is. And the two of us are very much in love.
Mother: Oh dear, you know it won't last.
Wife: That's not true. The two of us are perfectly compatible. We both like hot dogs, walks on the beach, and our favorite movie is "Love Sets Sail."
Mother: You may be compatible with him, but is America compatible with the Chinese? Because that's what'll end your relationship, not some adolescent fight over what movie you want to see.
Gas station customer, this is the full script
Customer: So, life without parole, huh.
Lawyer: Yeah. It's a damn shame, considering the key witness was blind.
Customer:I'm sure you did your best Mr. Folsom.
Lawyer:I did, didn't I? Hell, she'd probably be in the electric chair if it weren't for me.
Customer:Best to take solace in the small victories.
Lawyer:Thanks Jim. One day I'll know what that's like. Victory. But anyways, enough about the case, what can I do for you?
Customer:Yeah, can you fill up my tank and check the oil?
Lawyer:Sure thing.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Drama. Comedy. And Sports. All at the turn of the dial. If you want the best in entertainment, the only place to find it is in front of a Universal Electric, black daylight television set. That's right, with this television, you'll get blacker blacks and whiter whites, helping your eyes segregate the colors on screen better than any other brand.
Person returns home to find some things do change
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Sibling: Connie! What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?
Connie: Do I need a reason to come home?
Sibling: Well no, not usually. But after the drugs and the mental institution we thought…
Connie:What drugs? What institution? I’ve been in Costa Rica.
Sibling: Oh Connie, your doctors said you might have delusions. Things to fill the gaps in time. I mean, could you even point out Costa Rica on a map?
Connie:Sure. It’s right next to Arizona somewhere.
Sibling: I’m afraid not.
Connie:Are you calling me a liar? Where’s dad, he’ll tell you!
Sibling: Connie, you don’t remember? You murdered your father, right in this very room, and we’ve been trying to cover it up ever since.
Two cops investigate UFO activity, try to figure out if the alien is hiding among a group of people at a diner.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Sheriff: Is that so? You, in the hat! Are you the bus driver?
Bus Driver: That’s right.
Sheriff: And how many passengers were on the bus when you stopped here?
Bus Driver: Six.
Deputy: You sure about that, chief?
Bus Driver: Oh yeah. I do a head count whenever we stop, just to make sure we don’t leave anyone behind. And six people got off the bus.
Somewhat diginified, like a butler type
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Guest: Well, this is going to sound a bit strange, but I was wondering if you could tell me where I am.
Concierge: Why, you’re in a hotel.
Guest: Right, but where? What city?
Concierge: City? I’m afraid you’re confused. There are no cities here.
Guest: What do you mean?
Concierge: Ah, we get your type all the time. You must’ve been in an accident. That’s why you don’t remember how you got here.
Guest: How did I get here?
Concierge: I’m afraid there’s no way of putting this gently, so I’ll just come out and say it. You’re dead.
Two cops investigate UFO activity, try to figure out if the alien is hiding among a group of people at a diner.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Sheriff: You, in the suit! Who plays middle linebacker for the Bears?
Passenger: I don’t know. I’m more of a tennis fan.
Sheriff: Tear off his flesh deputy. I think you’ll find his real face under it.
Passenger: Wait, what? Why?
Sheriff: No self-respecting man would ever admit to liking tennis.
Passenger: No, please! You’re making a mistake! AGH! AGH! AAAAAAAGH!
Middle aged movie star too old lamenting change argues with maid/butler/servant.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Perkins: Well, it wasn't good times for most people, Ms. Booker. There's a reason they call it "The Depression."
Booker: And what do you think I am now? Happy? No, I'm more depressed than I've ever been!
Perkins: I don't think that's what they mean by "depression," Ms. Booker.
Just one line, for a movie trailer
Adult: Just who do you think you are?
Teenager: I'm a teenager! From space!
(Blasts adult with ray gun)
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Wife: Honey, the TV's on the fritz again!
Husband: Did you try kicking it?
Wife:I've tried kicking it, shooting it, and even tossing it in the microwave. And the fact is, I think it's cooked.
Husband:Well, don't worry, I heard the Radiation King is coming to a city near us.
Wife:Sweetie, keep your voice down! You can't support a monarchy in this day and age! The neighbors might think we're anti-American!
Husband:Ha-ha-ha, oh sugar cakes, the Radiation King isn't a monarch, he's just the king of electronics!
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
(Note: I changed the lines so the Radiation King is now Elvis-like in this commercial)
Teen: When is this jukebox gonna stop eating my quarters? It's really annoying.
King: Well, have you thought about buying your own jukebox?
Teen:My liege, is it really you?
King: Oh yeah, I'm the king baby. The King of Radiation. And starting this Friday, I'm offering 20% off on all jukeboxes at participating stores!
Teen:Wow, twenty percent! Those savings are so hot, they're practically radioactive!
King: They're a hunk o' burning love kid.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Remember that time you tried to bake the perfect cake for your husband? And remember how the grocer didn't have the strawberries he liked, so you ended up topping it with cherries instead? And remember how you forgot he was allergic to cherries, and he ended up hospitalized for over a week?
Well, that was some disaster. But it wasn't your fault, it was the fault of your grocer. That's why we recommend you shop at Cornucopia.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Teen: When is this jukebox gonna stop eating my quarters? It's really annoying.
King: Well, have you thought about buying your own jukebox?
Teen:My liege, is it really you?
King: Oh yeah, I'm the king baby. The King of Radiation. And starting this Friday, I'm offering 20% off on all jukeboxes at participating stores!
Teen:Wow, twenty percent! Those savings are so hot, they're practically radioactive!
King: They're a hunk o' burning love kid.
Man goes on a killing spree to collect insurance money
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Agent 1: You remember what happened up in Redwood seven years ago?
Agent 2:Yeah. An entire town disappeared without a trace. People thought it was haunted.
Agent 1: They did. No witnesses, no bodies, no one there to figure out how the whole thing went down. At least, until today.
Agent 2:What's so special about today?
Agent 1:They say some wacko came in to the office and demanded we pay him a million dollars. So we look him up, and you know all those missing persons from Redwood? It turns out he had life insurance policies on all of them.
Agent 2:Seven years. Which means they weren't presumed dead until today.
Agent 1:Exactly.
Agent 2:But where is this guy? I've been here all morning, and I haven't seen a single customer walk through those doors.
Agent 1:I wasn't talking about a customer.
Two cowboys in a duel. Set in the 1850s
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Red: Not everyone can be as fast as your mother Corbin, but that’s got nothing to do with gunplay.
Corbin: You no good son of a bitch!
Velma: That’s enough! Corbin, I know your mother, and I’ll tell you right now she’s no saint. And Red, the doctor’s been out of town for about a week now! No one believes you made an appointment!
Red: It doesn’t matter. He knows my secret. I’m a coward. And since he’s the only one who knows, he has to die.
Velma: But don’t you see? You’re both cowards! Corbin ain’t gonna tell a soul so long as you don’t. It’s what they call mutually assured destruction.
Corbin: She’s right. I can’t tell people you’re a yellow-bellied lily-liver without you saying the same about me.
Red: And I can’t tell people you’re a thumbsucking bushwacker without you spilling the beans either.
Velma: See? Ain't not reason to fight. Now let’s see about fixing you two some breakfast.
Judge. Just these 2 lines, but vital for the sketch
Everyone but the jury may be seated. Defense, call your first witness.
Order! Order! Order in the court!
Bailiff, just these 2 lines, but vital for the sketch
Please rise. The Court of the Second Judicial Circuit, Criminal Division, is now in session, the Honorable Judge Rayburn presiding.
Please raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Vault Couple Sitcom
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Wife: Honey, I want to talk to you about something. I think we should move.
Husband: Really? I thought you agreed this home was perfect.
Wife:Perfect for us maybe, but I can't help but feel it's a little too high up.
Husband: Well, we'd lose the view, but the rent's cheaper on the lower floors.
Wife:I was thinking lower.
Husband: You mean like in the lobby?
Wife:Lower.
Husband: The basement parking lot?
Wife:Lower. I wanna live in a vault.
Husband: A vault? But I thought only paranoid nut jobs live in vaults. Not normal people like you and me.
Wife:Actually, that's not true. Sadie over on Elm Street was born in a vault.
Husband: I always knew there was something shifty about her.
Man goes on a killing spree to collect insurance money
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Cop: Mr. Trent, you realize why we're here, don't you. First your wife goes missing, and then the insurance auditor assigned to your case.
Trent: I don't see what's so strange about it. People disappear all the time.
Cop: Maybe so, but you took out a life insurance policy on both your wife and the auditor. Now the wife I get, but according to our records you'd never even met the auditor before.
Diner owner, talking to Sheriff about possible UFO activity in area.
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Diner Owner: Hey now, calm down, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it. Perhaps if you told us what this was all about, officer, it might clear things up.
Sheriff: If you must know, we were called here because someone saw something flying overhead. An Unidentified Flying Object. A U-F-O. Which means one of you is an alien.
Diner Owner:Now you’re pulling my leg.
Sheriff: I’m afraid not ma’am.
(looks at officer’s face)
Diner Owner:Oh my god…you’re serious! I’m sorry but there’s gotta be another reason.
Mysterious Concierge, comes in at the end of the sketch. For full context, see full script here:
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Concierge 2: That was surprising. I thought for sure he’d go the other way.
Concierge 1: I thought so too. But either way, that settles it. The agreement was a first to a billion, wasn’t it?
Concierge 2: Yes. It’s rather unfortunate for them, but no one can say we didn’t give humanity a choice.
Concierge 1: True enough. Free will is tricky that way. I can never figure out if it’s a strength or a flaw.
Concierge 2: Well, perhaps the next world will prove more decisive. Let’s go.
Player thinks he's getting called up to the Major Leagues, but instead is called up for a literal cup of coffee
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Player: When they told me I was getting a cup of coffee, I thought I was being called up to the majors. I called my family and they were gonna fly in from Oklahoma. It's been twelve years. Twelve long years and I thought I was finally going to the show. Even if it was just for a cup of coffee.
Roastmaster: That's what we make here, coffee.
Player:It was supposed to be an analogy.
Roastmaster: Nope, it's actually coffee.
Player:I think I'm gonna cry.
Husband, wife, and sister-in-law sitcom
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Sonny: Why, I didn't know the circus was in town. You must be the bearded lady I've heard so much about.
Jill: And you must be the pig my sister married. How's life on the farm treating you?
Sonny: Oh, can't complain. Maybe if you had a job like mine, you could afford an apartment of your own.
Jill: That's a laugh. Don't tell me you're actually proud of this shoddy excuse for a home.
Sonny: It's got character, Jill. And bathroom mirrors. Something your place clearly doesn't have, seeing as you forgot to shave.
Jill: At least I have an excuse. You, on the other hand, have a bathroom and a sink, and you still haven't figured out how to brush your teeth.
Sonny: Errgggh...
Jill: And for your information, I live in a high rise condo. I'd invite you over, but the elevators aren't built to support planets your size.
Person returns home to find some things do change
http://3dnpc.com/wiki/scripts/commercial-radio/
Boy, is it good to be home. Everything’s just how I remember. There’s Dot’s Diner, right next to the old drug store. The people are the same too. There’s Bill the barber. Martha the grocer. And Charlie the racist. Allegedly. I guess they still haven’t proven those costumes were his. And frankly, they probably never will. That’s because nothing ever changes in Springfield.
![[PAID] One Piece: FAN LETTER - FANDUB!](https://d1m9vqlvl3fy94.cloudfront.net/project/attachment/276716/default_885714One_Piece_Fan_Letter_Announcement.webp)
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