Hey! Oh, shit, someone trying to make an Abridged Series, in 2019, of JoJo? Well surely that won't be an unfunny, meme-infested trainwreck. No, seriously. I've been a JoJo fan since before the anime came out, and found myself pretty dissatisfied with most, if not all, of the JoJo Abridged content found on Youtube. Even what was once acceptable for the timeframe of its release has left me dissatisfied and disillusioned. I understand making an Abridged Series in a post-TeamFourStar world is a dangerous game, but it's a format I have a lot of passion and appreciation for, as well as the series I'm basing it off of.
I've played with the idea of abridging Part 5 in particular since Part 4's anime was airing, because I'm a bright-eyed idealistic moron. There's a lot to love about Part 5, but also a lot to poke fun at, so while not being my favorite OR least-favorite Part, it's the one I have the most passion for Abridging.
Generally a serene-sounding young man, with a slightly soft voice, but masked by the edge of a cocky attitude, and occasionally a dumbfounded, almost naive, tone when he finds himself confronted with the odd situations he usually lucks out into. Capable of sounding very self-assured and entirely convinced of what he's saying when giving one of his signature, overly-self-indulgent speeches, or flatly trying to convince someone else of what he's saying.
Feel free to toss in some bonuses of yelling "Gold Experience!", "MUDAAAA!!", or even just some general pained/attacking sounds. No amount of Abridging is gonna make this NOT based on a Battle Shounen.
[PLEASE NO SILLY ITALIAN ACCENTS]
[Somewhat flowery, intentionally over-dramatic and self-indulgent speech-doling out] I told you, Luca. All creatures on this planet have their own ‘dreams.’ My own is to cleanse this beautiful city of the plague you and those like you have brought onto it, to ensure an environment where-....
[Overly-casual, only *slightly* disappointed] Oh, he’s dead. I hope he heard at least *some* of that...
Hey, I might be missing something, but why did we start beating the shit out of eachother again?
[As opposed to the earlier speech, this is more earnest, self-assured and said in a more down-to-earth manner.] When you saw the track marks on the kid’s arm, you were so shocked and disgusted you dropped it off your body. If you were just some gangster, you wouldn’t have been so deeply offended that this young kid got his hands on drugs.
That there are people in this city who sell drugs to kids… That’s unforgivable. That’s what you think.
Mostly a stern, slightly gruff authority figure and what will bloom into the straight-man for his much more out-there companion's words and actions. Capable of acting creepy for interrogation purposes, such as the first line shown, and often finds himself mistaken for a much more morally-just and all-around better person than he really is. Essentially, a gangster just doing his job who winds up playing the stern father figure to a lot of ratty children whether he'd like to or not.
Feel free to toss in some bonuses of yelling "Sticky Fingers!", "ARIARIARIARIARI... ARRIVEDERCI!", or even just some general pained/attacking sounds. No amount of Abridging is gonna make this NOT based on a Battle Shounen.
[PLEASE NO SILLY ITALIAN ACCENTS]
[Good-natured, somewhat fake-sounding laugh, followed by an earnest tone with turns intimidating and unsettling at the last line.] Really? It’s a great movie, very emotional. I’ve heard it can even bring a man to tears. Tom Hanks bonding with an inanimate object like that… It’s quite the *relationship.* [licks lips.]
[Beginning rather calmly, if not sternly, but eventually ramping up into accusatory indignation] You could’ve avoided this, but there’s nothing more suspicious than not having seen the hit movie of last year, now... why someone would lie about something so simple!?
[In a very 'roll with this untrue thing' tone, saving face.] (GULP) Uhh…. Rriight.
[Starting off in the same tone, but hesitantly dire when discussing his job.] You’re... very perceptive to have pieced that all together. Still, I was tasked to deal with Luca’s attacker! Even if you stopped, I can kill you now!
An unfortunate little man with poor luck, with an optimistic outlook he's started to find beaten down more than once in a while. Not incapable of getting frustrated, but oftentimes tries his best to be polite and forthcoming with people. Not gonna show up much outside the first couple episodes, just so you know.
[Skeptical, somewhat unnerved.] ... Wouldn’t it be easier to get, uh, a lock of his hair, or… literally anything else?
[Panicked & Flustered] Ah, ah! Uh... PIZZA PASTA! BUON BAMBINO! BAZZATI BAGORGI!
[Shocked & Hopeless, and then just Hopeless] Oh no, no… All the food I was supposed to have for that month was in that suitcase! I needed those crushed potato chips and juice boxes! … Maybe I can at least catch up to that frog… They eat those in Europe, right?
Shockingly blunt and nonplussed about most scenarios, to the point of almost sounding disinterested or 'out of it'. In reality, that's just how his awkward nature manifests, what with him being the brick shithouse of a man that he is. Deep-voiced and stoic.
[Barely trying to be persuasive. Just barely.] C’mon, don’t be a pansy, Koichi. I just need a (pinches fingers close) *little* bit of his skin.
[Blunt as ever] Yeah, no. unless you can get some of his skin, or at least a drop of saliva, I’m gonna ask that you don’t call.
