(talking to Ophelia about her love for Hamlet) I’ve heard Hamlet’s been spending a lot of time alone with you recently, and you’ve made yourself quite available to him. If things are the way people tell me they are—and they’re only telling me this to warn me—then I have to say, you’re not conducting yourself with the self-restraint a daughter of mine should show. What’s going on between you two? Tell me the truth. 

(talking to Gertrude and Claudius about Hamlet's craziness) Sir and madam, to make grand speeches about what majesty is, what service is, or why day is day, night is night, and time is time is just a waste of a lot of day, night, and time. Therefore, since the essence of wisdom is not talking too much, I’ll get right to the point here. Your son is crazy. “Crazy” I’m calling it, since how can you say what craziness is except to say that it’s craziness? But that’s another story. 

(talking to himself about Hamlet's craziness, after talking to him) His answers are so full of meaning sometimes! He has a way with words, as crazy people often do, and that sane people don’t have a talent for. I’ll leave him now and arrange a meeting between him and my daughter.