Strong Bad's Warm “Game” for Ugly Dorktypes
Project Overview
Stiny, bring me a note!
“Dear Whomstever is reading this:
I like, really need more peoples to voice Marzipan and… well, just the broom lady. Anyone who offers gets a free BAKLAVA b/w rice.”
-Some loser making a Homestar Runner fan project
Hey, ever heard of Homestar Runner? If so, ever heard of “Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People?” Unfortunately, the game’s been DELETED! off of most legal locations. Fortunately. This’ll be like it, but with one less dimension!
Essentially, “Strong Bad’s Warm ‘Game’ For Ugly Dorktypes” is a sort of visual novel based on the Homestar Runner flash series. Half made as a sort of passion project, half as a way to practice my writing whatever you call it.
But what’s the plot?!April 18th is around the corner, and that means The Cheatday is nigh. And not just any old Cheatday, but the Tooty-Tooth’d Cheatday! The Brothers Strong have spent the last week meticulously crafting the coolest, most epic Cheatday celebration yet. They’ve got the finest Scandinavian mining tools, a whole batch of emails for The Cheat to answer, the freshest Cheatcakes in all of Free Country, and… oh crap! The Cheat’s gone missing. Again! No Cheatday’s complete without a The Cheat to celebrate it. Will Strong Bad be able to find his lackey in time for the celebration? Or will he suck the suckiest he’s ever sucked.
But what are the requirements?Simple: Firstly, don’t have a sucky microphone. Just because the flash cartoons didn’t have that good of a sound quality doesn’t mean your audition should sound the same. Like Strong Sad’s melancholic piano lessons on a rainy Monday night, the results just end up depressing everyone around.
Second, make sure you take a gander at the “samples of style” so graciously provided by yours truly. They contain “quotes of the week” which were created by the brothers Chaps themselves. They’re the greatest gift for someone trying to audition as dumb animal character #3.
Third: Just have fun. The whole Homestar series was practically built funny little guys (and girl) in funny little situations, and, on the off chance that something feels off, it’s just played up as a funny, like the time Strong Bad wet himself whilst on stage in his youth.
Until next time, keep on sending me auditions, and I’ll make fun of listen to ‘em.
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Everyone loves the Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete. He's got as much intelligence as he has arms. Basically, he's dumb, but a loveable type of dumb. Homestar's well meaning, but his idiocy often makes his efforts to help others in vain, mainly due to him causing accidental insults or injuries.
One notable character trait, besides his idiocy, is his speech impediment, and has trouble pronouncing his "r" and "l" sounds, a bit like Elmer Fudd.
Here are some of his samples of styles: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
Oh, hey Strong Bad! I really like your Strong Bad not in a Halloween costume outfit!
(Overreacting, on the verge of crying) Oh~ Li'l Brudder, no!! Li'l Brudder... He's got the bravery of a cricket junior's league winner~!!
(Normally) Oh, The Cheat? (disappointed) I thought this was serious.
Let's be honest, he's the reason you're here. Strong Bad's possibly your and your hot cousin Debra's favorite email-checking wrestlem'n with snark (then again, he's probably the only email-checking wrestlem'n with snark you might know of). When he's not checking emails, He's possibly defacing stories, ruling over a barren field with a rubber glove, or fruitlessly trying to show off his popularity with the ladies.
If you're not exactly sure how Strong Bad speaks, here are some samples of his style: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
Not to call any names, Strong Sad, but I thing someone, Strong Sad, did something with The Cheat, Strong Sad!
(Mumbling) Ungh.... Urngh... Smash TV... Rumble Grumble...
(rhythmically) Ooh ahh, it's the email man! That's right, it's the email man!
Strong Mad is the eldest of the Brothers Strong, and also the least intelligent of three. He has big muscles with a big heart to boot, especially for The Cheat. Strong Mad really loves The Cheat, so much so that two won’t fight even if they were on the opposing sides of a war (which has happened)
Here are some samples of Strong Mad’s style for you big yelly types: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
I WANT A TURTLE!!!
THAT’S JUST HOW I ROLL!!!
I’M PLAYING MUSIC!!! TRA LA LA!!!
Strong Sad’s the youngest of the Brothers Strong, but also the smartest of them. Perhaps due to all the bully he received in his childhood (by his own brothers, no less), Strong Sad isn’t exactly the happiest person around. That doesn’t mean he stows away in his room, though. Strong Sad seems to enjoy most things literature related, and even engages in a few poetry slams.
Here are some samples of Strong Sad’s admittedly dumpy style: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
(Sarcastically) Really? Benjamin Dümpchin (pronounced DOOMP-chin)? I’ve been called worse!
*sigh* What now, Strong Bad? I’m updating my Tumblr! (Pronounced Tum-BLEUR)
It’s like he’s still with us… Oh well, my Romaji classes are in a few minutes.
Who's always giving Strong Bad a hand? It's The Cheat! Though he's Strong Bad's sidekick and Strong Mad's best pal, The Cheat is often the butt of physical abuse, whether intentional or not. When not assisting Strong Bad in whatever hair-brained scheme he's up to, The Cheat is probably working on "Powered by The Cheat", an amateur series of Flash cartoons seemingly made as an outlet for him to express his bottled-up feelings of abuse and lack of appreciation.
While The Cheat has been shown to speak fluent English (as shown by his Flash cartoons), he often speaks in a "language" composed of high-pitched squeaks and sounds, as shown here.
*The Cheat speaks in squeaks. Just do an improvise here*
The eccentric and honestly pretty creepy "coach" of an anomalous sport. He's got more than two problems, something he's admitted too more than once. Be it his (possibly bogus) midwestern accent, his questionable hygienics, or his odd tendencies with Marzipan.
Coach Z's accent is perhaps one of his most defining traits. Often, he'll mispronounce the long e and the short o sounds as "or" and "aer".
For some samples of style, Coach Z sounds like this, this, and this too.
Hey, Strong Bad! Get orf the torf!
Me and... well, just me... are gonna panty raid ol' lady Marzipan's hamble aborde!
Well, It's like I always say: (depressed) Just give up... It's no use...
As (one of) the only girls of Free Country, Marzipan is swooned on by a bit of the cast, though her heart lies within Homestar (if they haven’t broken up this week, that is). She‘s an absolute hippie and isn’t afraid to speak her thoughts, whether it’s by picket signs, her guitar Carol, or creating artistic movements.
And as promised, here are some samples of Marzipan’s style: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
(Nervously) Uh no… I didn’t say “Choral” practice, I said “Coral” practice, like a coral reef…
Oh, hey Strong Bad. Are you here to deface my picket signs again?
Come on Carol, let’s go somewhere where we’ll be tolerated. Like, the local Woodstock concert.
Bubs is Free Country’s go-to guy for anything job-related, although, Bubs isn’t the most reputable person around. He‘ll sell anything at his stand, legal or not, as well has having more licenses than a driving instructor (Come to think of it, Bubs may as well have been a driving instructor for a day or two). When not ripping off his fellow Free Country residents, Bubs can be seen ripping the floor down at Club Technochocolate.
And now, some samples of Bubs' style (for the low price of tooty-two quesos!): Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
We've got Allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters... just about anythin' really.
Come on, man. I know you're jocking me! And not in the good way.
Buy one, get one at 50% higher a price! It's the deal of your lifetime!
The King of Town is Free Country's self proclaimed ruler. To most of his supposed subjects (i.e. everyone else), he's just an unpopular, gluttonous, old guy. The only people who actually consider the King in any sort of royal power are his servants, particularly his Poopsmith. Please don't ask why he has a poopsmith or what that job entails, as not even he knows.
For those wondering, yes, even the KOT has some samples of style: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
(Suddenly awake) Wha?! Is the Golden Corral having it's "senior citizen's discount week"?!
No, I didn't eat The Cheat. Too much ganache!
Doo hoo! It feels like my hemorrhoids are doing the Harlem shake!
Homsar is, well... he's weird. He only speaks in non-sequiturs, seemingly has the power to defy physics, and has no friends save for Strong Sad and Marzipan. Although, in all fairness, being crushed by a Heavy Lourde may also effect the average, non blue midget Homestar in more ways than one.
'Twas the pride of the peaches!: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
DaAaaAAh! No thanks, Carolina. My zucchini's already a woodwind.
AaaaAAAAhH! That was a doozer!
aAAAaaHm so goosed up, I'm swimming in it...
A creepy, middle-aged version of Strong Bad imagined up by him during a sbemail. Some of Cardgage's less than appealing qualities include his habit of eating melted candy bars whilst in lines, jumping out of bushes and shrubs, and his odd grasp on the English language. Despite all this, Strong Bad genuinely thinks Senor Cardgage is cool.
Oh, hey Montserrat, looming for some staples of styles?: Sample 1, Sample 2, Sample 3
Sorry, Bon Jovi. I polyester day and didn't not get a Carl back.
Oh... You're such a gooey luster, Entemann's.
Grood Eveternoon, Gruntilda. How's the babyborn?
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