Geez Louise, one chump after another. It’s like a who’d who of decathlon disasters around here. All I need is one measly warrior tough enough to give Zeus a jolt of his own medicine! Wait… Dark, moody, powerful. Yes! He’s perfect.

How sad is this? Pains me to see it. All that power going to waste. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead, god of the Underworld, yadda, yadda, yadda, how ya doin’? hey, lemme guess, you’re trying to put the kibosh on the darkness inside you. Am I right? Of course I’m right! Well, anyway, bad idea.

Okay, stay with me here darkness is inside…everybody. Nothing to be ashamed of. You play nice with it, and darkness will be your best friend. But if you go and get all self-conscious and refuse to face it, the darkness will run over you like a debutante at a toga sale. And then where are you? Nowhere. Now me, I look at you and I see potential. That’s right kid. You got the potential to conquer the darkness inside you. And I’ll even give you some pointers. I mean, believe me, if anyone knows conquering, I know conquering. You sign up for the Games. I know, I know, I know “Please, Lord Hades, the Games? But hey, you would be surprised what you can learn in the heat of battle. And don’t worry. I’ll be right there to guide you every step of the way. I’m kinda what you’d call an expert in the art of Darkness. Oh, decide fast. This is a limited-time offer.