Oh, now, son. Come here. See, it’s an urbane myth, like that, uh, “Locked Mess Monstrosity”… and the fella that brings the sweepstakes checks, see? Well, think of it: an old guy in a red suit, cruising the whole, entire world in one night? Usin’ reindeer what fly? Why, it’s practically impossible! Look kid. I’ve been around, see? Been to all the foreign lands, Brooklyn included. And I never seen, nor met a soul who’s seen, this Santy Claus fella.

I HAD THEM ON THE HOOK FOR A TEN-FOOT TREE! I’m takin’ what I would’ve made off of that tree OUT OF YOUR PAY!

NOT MY TEN-FOOTERS! [ Crying ]