Er...hello? Is this thing on? Cool. This message is going out to the Round Table Conference, and a very personal and heart-filled shout-out to the queen bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! All right! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine Brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting intimate as soon as me and the boys finish lunch, so let me be the first to thank you for providing us with these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing more than a pile of shit. (...) We highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god. But hey you can be a man and kill yourself. Thank you, London, we love you! Good night!"

(pinned by Seras) "FUCK! Ow! Lemme go! I'm supposed to be on top, bitch

Fuck, these are some fine cigars. Like, all bourgeois and shit. I mean, come on, that's just fucked up! People are starving in the world, and she's wasting money onthis? A slow and agonising death is too good for that stick-up-her-ass bitch. I think it's time someone gave her an old-fashionedworking-class asskicking!

"See, I so fucking told you! Ha ha ha! Well, since I'm fucked, how about I piss a little wisdom on you dipshits? You can take this clue and shove it up your ass, bitch! Beware...the Millennium!"