(Menacing) I bet you’re wondering why you’re all here… Each and everyone of you are no better than a two-bit criminal, but now justice is about to be served. I hope all of you think long and hard about what you did as you serve your p u n i s h m e n t. (Drunk) Now I don’t care if you do homework or just sit there for the rest of the hour, but keep your trap shut and…*hic* I’ll play… nice…

(Ranting) Listen you young whippersnapper! There is only one thing I hate more than technology. And that’s being sober! But there’s one thing I hate more than being sober. And that’s when some young hooligans CALL ME OLD!

(Cocky) You’re tellin’ me! That this place! Doesn’t have a bathroom. You do realize that it is required by Texas law, to have an open bathroom on the premises. If you don’t show me to a bathroom right now, you are technically breaking the law. What do ya got to say to that!?