Once Upon a Time in 1999
Richard Gibson for Zack
"I put my hands on my hips and say ‘nyuk nyuk nyuk’ like every other normal person."
Zack is an obnoxious 18-year-old jock and Junior's worst best friend. Equipped with spiky hair, frosted tips, baggy pants and a lexicon of sexually inappropriate commentary, Zack is the ultimate male blonde of the 1990s and the most common comedic relief of OUAT99.
Loud, arrogant and immature best describe Zack's ceaseless outbursts, tantrums and rolling punchlines of crudity. Taking inspiration from such characters as 'Pokemon's' Gary Oak, 'Yu-Gi-Oh's' Joey Wheeler and Seto Kaiba, Zack is a playground bully refusing to admit that his victims are his only friends.
- english
- male young adult
- male teen
- american
- loud
- funny
- Stubborn
- Hormonal
- Arrogant
- Sleazy
- Idiotic
- Immature
[Cackles maniacally] “How safe and secure you thought you were, lying defenceless! In your prepubescent ring of plush toys and abandonment issues. Little did you know that I, the great and powerful Zackery, had been stewing away in the juices of these dampest and darkest corners – aided by nothing but this day-old lasagne tray left out for the cats. Now has come the hour of my reckoning. Fear me and my carb-heavy reprisal!” [Throwing Tray] “Hiya!” [A Bookcase Falls on Zack. He Screams]. “Save me, felines of the underworld! Protect your king!”
[Discovering Tunnel] “Pft, I knew a badger that did the same thing but way bigger. Ever hear what happened to Tracey Goodmen at the drive-in theatre?” [Tai: Tracey Goodmen did not fall through a badger hole]. “She so fell through a badger hole. Right down to badger fucking hell. And the only way to stop her is to light thirteen rings of fire and bury a small mammal in every single one of them.”
[Regarding Tinkertoys] “Like I could ever want these creepy little monsters trying to rob me of my soul every time I go to sleep. And if I did, mine would be the coolest rarest most fucking awesome collection you’ve ever seen.” [Little Suzy: Miss Holiday, I can’t sleep...] “Shut up, Suzy! You’re an orphan. What are you even waking up to?”