Hi Meg, thanks for the submission.  I've already cast, but am going back through submissions and offering feedback.  The tech quality on your submission could be dialed up a bit; look into hiring an engineer to dial that sound in.  Your room sounds fine, not too ringy.  There's a bit of mushmouth in here that needs to be addressed.  As for the read itself, take a listen to some newscasters and listen to that sing-song melody they all use, and how they back-and-forth with each other.  It's almost comical how predictable it becomes.  Good luck!