"Look, my time is money. So, I'll keep this short. You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment."

"What in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You want people to be good, just because?!"

"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?"