I really like the natural-sounding inflection you gave; like you weren't reading something off a page, but rather having a conversation with someone.

Good pacing! I like the emphasis scattered throughout the read, it definitely helps bring it to life. Very solid job in this area! I would recommend spending more focus on articulation, as although it isn't by any means poor, there are certain moments and words that I feel weren't pronounced quite as clearly as they could have been. Consider spending more time bringing out that full articulation. Overall, keep up the solid emotion present here, maybe even add more of that changing tone and emphasis. Great job!