You are the manager at a restaurant, and you see an older couple making love very blatantly in one of the corner booths. They are pretty much causing a scene, and you approach them to confront them about their behavior. Please sound authoritative and cold when you speak to them and reprimand them. Your audition is below:

“Excuse me, folks. How are you doing this evening? (pause) Are you both out celebrating your anniversary? (pause) Look…I know this is a corner booth and all….but you’re both going to have to tone down the sexual escapades over here. (You address the man.) Sir, I really don’t care if your wife runs her fingers through your hair......for all I care, your lovely wife can run her fingers through your hair until you go bald…….but you cannot be putting your hands up her dress and exposing her in public. Now you’re obviously both old enough to know better………waaaaay old enough, right? Over 60 I’m guessing. If... (The man denies doing anything wrong and asks why you are harassing them. You are annoyed.) Sir, you were reaching up your wife's dress and exposing her in front of all these customers. For god's sake.....I could see her full girdle. Everybody in the restaurant could see your wife's girdle..... (He tells you he is not married.) Sir, I really don't care if you're not married. There is a law against public indecency. You were putting your hands up this lady's dress and exposing her completely. Now you wouldn't want me to pull your pants down and show everybody your hairy old butthole...would you? (pause) Mm hmm.....And you wouldn't want me to pull off this toupee and show everybody that you're bald...right? (They get up and start leaving.) "Ok then.....You folks have a wonderful evening.  (The lady tells you that his hair is real and that she thinks you are interested in him.)  No ma'am...I'm not at all interested in your little old man......No offense....but I would prefer somebody at least 30 years younger than him......I'm 32, so he's actually pretty old for me......but if you find him attractive, that's fine....good for you.  At least you're both about the same age..   But y'all need to get a room and have your dirty little sex behind closed doors.  You folks have a wonderful evening now.