You know what’s weird though? How hush-hush all this Avengers shit is. Like, if I were in a team like that with the actual blue blooded boy scout Captain America, the Tinman, genderbend Robin Hood, some Russian spy woman, Bon Jovi with a hammer, and a guy with serious anger problems, I’d blab it to everyone. Hell, I’d even make a podcast about it, like “Why Deadpool is the coolest superhero ever.” Fuck the X-Men at that point, right? Who needs them? 

God, Christ J.A.R.V.I.S, you have zero sex appeal, you're making my harddrive turn into a floppy disc. Lemme take from here. Hey everyone, Deadpool here. Well, I mean obviously. Who else were you expecting? Al Pacino?

(Talking about a missing kid's poster, emotional and not your typical Deadpool silliness) I always hated these things, they’re so depressing. The kids always look so happy in them…