FADE IN: Ext. of Ollie and Grace’s House. 

 Birds chirp, wind rustles through trees and bushes. 2 pairs of footsteps on grass.

 OLLIE I still think it’s amazing that you managed to grow all this, Grace. 

GRACE Carrots, broccoli, and kale are hardly orchids, love.

 OLLIE I mean, sure, for you maybe. But you’ve got at least two green thumbs. 

GRACE Next year we’ll start you on some radishes, ok? Even you can’t screw up radishes too badly, Ollie. 

OLLIE Remember where you were when you said that. I’ll probably create a wasteland, a zone of desolation and despair where nothing grows and the social contract falls to ruin, where up is down, left is right, and conservative media begins to make sense.

 GRACE Ok, now I know something’s wrong. I’m willing to entertain the notion of you accidentally creating a Superfund Site, but conservative media coagulating into a coherent narrative? That doesn’t sound like you. Something’s up. 

OLLIE It’s just…they passed that referendum? To get prayer into the local schools? 

GRACE Oh, gross! 

OLLIE I know! It’s repulsive! 

GRACE No, not that. Well, yes, that too, actually. But look at this! If you look under the leaves, the entire bed’s covered in it! 

.Foliage rustles as Grace moves some leaves aside.

 OLLIE (horrified and fascinated) Ewwwwwww, what is that? 

GRACE Lemme grab a piece, we can look it up online. 

 Foliage bends and snaps back as Grace plucks an object from a stem. 

OLLIE You sure you want to bring it into the house? Maybe it’s some kind of fungus. Might get spores everywhere. 

GRACE Mm, I don’t think so. It’s sort of yellowish-white, sure, but the texture’s all wro—Oh god! 

OLLIE What?! What is it? You ok! 

GRACE No I’m not ok! It’s a fucking tooth, Ollie! Our garden’s growing a crop of human fucking teeth!