During his time as the Perfect Soldier Null, his frequent readjustments following each mission deprived him of both his memories and emotions, his only dreams being of waking up to the corpses of his victims lying in front of him, and waiting in vain for his comrades to rescue him. He harbored fatalistic, borderline nihilistic views on life, feeling that it wouldn't truly matter if he spared someone or not as they would die eventually anyway. This belief, as well as his conditioning as the Perfect Soldier, resulted in him developing an intense animosity towards Big Boss after being unable to kill him in battle, and questioning his reasons for living.[47] This aspect eventually resulted in Jaeger renouncing his Null identity altogether when he was defeated by Big Boss.