[DIRECTION: You’re meeting your daughter’s roommate for the first time and are eager for her to make friends.]

Many thanks for rooming with our little Dushka. She’s too little for giant school, so we thought she’d fit in here with you small folk!

[DIRECTION: Your wife, Gertie, is kind of a worry-wart but you still love her dearly. You're mock-annoyed, but playful]

JORDAN: Mom doesn't want you taste-testing the dishes anymore. You gotta watch your blood sugar!

SASHA: Bah. I love your mother, but this is my domain, the house is hers. If I want icing, I eat icing!

[DIRECTION: You want to console your daughter and protect her from whatever, or whoever, is troubling her.]

SASHA: What's the matter, Dushka? Something on your mind?

JORDAN: Yeahhh, feeling insecure again.

SASHA: By whom? Tell me who they are and I will grind their bones into dust!