“Hooray! Gary! I had that dream again! And it’s finally going to come true! Today! Sorry about this calendar. Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager. Who's it gonna be, Gary? Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards.”

[drunken, slurred speech, occasional burps] “I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss. I now realize that he's a GREAT BIG JERK! I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this man has got something to say to you. [raspberry] There, I think I made my point.”

“What about us? We'll never survive in that trench. You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. We're just...kids.” [screams the following line] “Open your eyes, Patrick! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! We don't belong out here! Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.”