No! I don’t have time for that! What if a human comes through here?! I want to be ready! I will be the one! I must be the one! I will capture a human! Then, I, the great Papyrus…will get all the things I utterly deserve! Respect…recognition…I will finally be able to join the royal guard! People will ask, to, be my, “friend?” I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning.

Human. Allow me to tell you about some complex feelings. Feelings like…the joy of finding another pasta lover. The admiration for another’s puzzle-solving skills. The desire to have a cool, smart person think you are cool. These feelings…they must be what you are feeling right now! I can hardly imagine what it must be like to feel that way. After all, I am very great. I don’t ever wonder what having lots of friends is like. I pity you…lonely human. Worry not! You shall be lonely no longer!

W-Well, that's not what I expected...but...st-still! I believe in you! You can do a little better! Even if you don't think so! I...I promise...